Bill Brady

2/18/2019

Here’s my understanding of the biblical nature of how to handle disagreement with another.

• This is a case where you feel that you have been sinned against.
• This is not for a case of disagreement of opinion.
• Or for dislike of a perceived attitude.
• This is for when you have been sinned against.
• And covering that sin with love isn’t working for you.

“Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother.  But if he will not hear, take with you one or two more, that ‘by the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.’  And if he refuses to hear them, tell it to the church. But if he refuses even to hear the church, let him be to you like a heathen and a tax collector.”  Matthew 18:15-17

• First search your heart for any fault on your part.
• Get it right so that your attitude towards your brother is right.
• Make sure that you are walking in love towards that bother.
• See the rest of Matthew 18 for the context for this passage.
• Bringing it to the attention of church leadership is 3rd step.

Here are some pages related to this topic. 

• See my page on Oneness and Unity https://www.oneunitedbody.org/2019/02/18/how-to-restore-oneness-and-unity/
• See my page on Triggering https://growingpeopleframework.wordpress.com/what-to-do-when-triggered/
• See my page on Evil Speaking https://growingpeopleframework.wordpress.com/what-is-evil-speaking-and-why-shouldnt-we-do-it/

Here is the biblical protocol if the other person is an elder.

• Members of OUB’s Benches of 3 and 7 are elders at the level of the Universal Ecclesia.
• Think Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.
• Think Peter, James and John.
• And Paul.
• And Ian Clayton and Mike Parsons.

“Do not receive an accusation against an elder except from two or three witnesses.  Those who are sinning rebuke in the presence of all, that the rest also may fear.”                                  1 Timothy 5:19-20

• Sin in this context is sin.
• Not just discerned wrong spirit or attitude in something that an elder has said or done.
• Or disagreement about how something is being done.
• 2 or 3 witnesses saying the same thing are required for elders to investigate another elder.

Leadership is difficult.

• Someone has to lead.
• Few step up and take responsibility.
• Please give the leaders extra grace.
• In most cases they are doing a difficult job to the best of their ability.
• At great cost to themselves.
• Frequently with little thanks.
• And little honor.

“Obey those who rule over you, and be submissive, for they watch over your souls, as those who will give account.  Let them do so with joy and not with grief, for that would be unprofitable for you.”  Hebrews 13: 17

• In higher ages I don’t see the obey / be submissive command to be applicable.
• But when one knows the way and others don’t yet know there will be leading and following.

This is the nature of the father / son relationship and the forerunner / follower relationship.

• Honor is owed to a forerunning father.
• Giving that honor allows life to come to the son following that father.

This doesn’t mean that you have to agree with everything the father says and does.

• Or aren’t free to express your disagreement.
• You are free.
• Completely free.

Forerunner / follower and father / son relationships are completely voluntary.

• A father is free to choose to father.
• Or to choose to not father.
• A son is free to choose to be fathered.
• Or to not be fathered.